7 Signs a Narcissist Realizes They’ve Lost Control Over You
When a narcissist loses their grip on you, they may not let go quietly. Narcissists thrive on
control, validation, and power over others, so when they realize they can no longer manipulate
you, they often resort to new tactics to regain their influence. Here are seven things narcissists
commonly do when they realize they’ve lost their hold on someone, and how you can recognize
and protect yourself from these manipulations.
1. Intensifies Guilt-Tripping and Emotional Manipulation
One of the narcissist’s go-to tactics is guilt-tripping. When they feel their power slipping, they
may try to manipulate you emotionally by playing the victim or blaming you for any issues. They
might say things like, “I can’t believe you’d do this after everything I’ve done for you,” hoping to
make you second-guess your decisions. Recognize this as a ploy to regain control and stand
firm in your boundaries.
2. Attempts to “Love Bomb” You Again
Just as they may have done early in the relationship, a narcissist might try to “love bomb”
you—offering excessive compliments, attention, or gifts—to lure you back in. They might act as
if they’ve “changed” overnight and try to convince you that things will be different. Remember,
this tactic is usually short-lived and is used to regain control, not to foster genuine change.
3. Spreads Rumors and Smears Your Reputation
When a narcissist realizes they’re losing their grip, they may resort to damaging your reputation
to feel like they’re regaining power. They might start telling others that you’re the problem,
making up stories, or exaggerating your flaws. This tactic, called a “smear campaign,” is used to
paint themselves as the victim and make you look like the villain.
4. Creates Unnecessary Drama to Draw You Back In
Narcissists love to create drama as a way of keeping you emotionally invested in them. When
they sense they’re losing control, they may stir up conflicts or crises, hoping that you’ll jump in to
“fix” things. They might suddenly have a “crisis” only you can solve, dragging you back into their
web. Recognizing this pattern helps you to stay detached and protect your own well-being.
5. Plays the Victim to Gain Sympathy
If the narcissist can’t control you directly, they may try to get others to see them as the victim,
hoping it will sway your feelings. They might tell family, friends, or coworkers exaggerated
stories about how you “wronged” them, trying to make you feel guilty or doubt your actions.
Remember, their goal is to manipulate perceptions, not to seek genuine help or understanding.
6. Invades Your Personal Space and Boundaries
When the narcissist feels they’re losing power, they may ignore your requests for space or
attempt to force contact. They might send texts, show up unexpectedly, or attempt to reach out
through mutual friends. This behavior is an attempt to re-establish their presence and remind
you of their influence. Keep boundaries clear, and don’t hesitate to set firm limits on
communication.
7. Switches to Passive-Aggressive Tactics
If direct methods don’t work, a narcissist may switch to passive-aggressive behaviors—subtle
digs, sarcasm, or underhanded comments that make you question yourself. This tactic is
intended to undermine your confidence while keeping them in control. Recognize this behavior
for what it is: a last-ditch effort to regain influence without being openly confrontational.
Final Thoughts
Understanding these tactics can help you stay strong and maintain your boundaries when
dealing with a narcissist. Have you experienced any of these behaviors from someone in your
life? The key to handling a narcissist’s tactics is to stay consistent, trust your instincts, and seek
support from those who respect your boundaries.
For more insights on relationships and mental health, visit our Health Section for related
articles.
Post of this article is based on: Simply Psychology by Anna Drescher.
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